There comes a time in a man's life when he stops being a boy and truly becomes a man.
This transition can be initiated by pain. Sometimes it is brought on by betrayal. It can be because of responsibility. Other times, he simply grows.
However, it takes wisdom to recognize such periods and to know what is required of him.
So he may understand that it is not a time when the world is against him, but an opportunity for him to prove himself. And to rise to the challenge of becoming more than he ever has.
The world does not owe you anything. When you stop expecting it to reward you, you become free to keep building.
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These are some of the quiet truths he needs to accept during a period of transitioning from boyhood to manhood:
1. Nobody Owes You Anything
In a world where everyone is desperately scrambling for something, only a few have understood that you do not always get what you deserve but what you demand. And even more important is the knowledge that life may not readily hand you what you demand. But that should not create entitlement.
A lot of people think if they work hard, results are bound to follow. And while it is true that no effort is a waste, some opportunities may not come from the people or places we expect. That does not mean you should decide to stop working hard. It just means that the world does not owe you anything. People do not owe you support because your intentions are good.
The encouragement and support you need may not come from your family. And that does not mean they do not love you.
That is not a reason to become bitter. It is simply a reminder that life is not a transaction.
When you stop expecting the world to reward you, you become free to keep building regardless of the outcome because you have understood that no one owes you anything.
2. You Don't Need Permission to Start
Most of us grew up with instructions from our parents. "Do this", "do that". This progressed even into schools. Teachers gave us assignments and schools rewarded our obedience.
There were guidelines and rules that dictated our behaviours. And even though that was good, it took something from some of us. The sense of self required to make independent decisions. So a lot of young men now keep waiting for someone to tell them what comes next.
But without an independent compass, it is hard to make any meaningful progress in life. Because no matter how right and loving your parents or instructors are, they can never understand what you truly want. You alone know who you want to be, what kind of work you want to do and the risks you are willing to take. No one can make those decisions for you.
And if you have not grown that muscle of taking independent decisions, it may affect you.
You do not need to wait for someone's instruction to build the life you want. That life begins the day you stop waiting for it.
3. You Are Only Useful When Valuable
This is perhaps one of the hardest truths a man can ever face. That he is hardly loved unconditionally. His worth is measured by his usefulness. By what he provides and the quantity he provides. But that is just the way it is.
A man can be loved like a king one day and hated like a criminal the next day because he lost his job. He can be respected one day and insulted the next because he did not meet the expectations required of him. That is why so many men become depressed when they are unable to provide.
Because they see how the world is unkind to poor men. To men whose ability to provide has been weakened.
This may perhaps seem unfair to young men, but it is one bitter truth they must learn to accept early.
4. You Are Allowed to Dream Big
Because most young men have not yet had track records of doing amazing things, they do not yet know what they are fully capable of. They have not had the confidence that comes with experience. The experience of mastery. So they do not allow themselves to aim very high.
They believe because they are young, certain heights are not for them. But that is a wrong way to think. Young people can do great things too. They can accomplish amazing things as much as older people.
As a young man, you do not have to wait till you are old before attempting to dream big. This is a harsh truth every young man needs to know.
5. Your Association Determines Your Future
Many young men do not like to hear that their friendships contribute to the outcome of their lives. Because that would mean realizing that although some things are beyond their control, they have the power to decide how their life turns out.
They want to hold the freedom to be with whoever and whenever. But that is just comfort speaking. Comfort and fear.
A young man maturing must realize that he cannot be friends with everyone. Because in the same way ships that leave the same port may not be headed towards the same shore, all men are not headed towards the same direction.
So as he matures, he learns that some friends are destructive to him, some are like water, they water his efforts, and then there are those that are not meant to stay, passing through his life quickly.
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6. Always Look Out for Opportunities, Even When They Seem Unlikely
Life is a game of chances. But not all young men have understood this. A lot of them have been conditioned to believe success looks only a particular way. So they go around in life, expecting their big break to only come a certain way.
But this might lead them to miss out on a lot of great opportunities to gain experience, build something beautiful in the world and earn a living.
Because of how it has been overly circulated, there is an often neglected truth in the saying, "not all that glitters is gold." Not every shiny opportunity is truly an opportunity, and some opportunities may look small but they hold the potential to change your life.
Final Thought
These are some of the truths every young man must learn. Because they might mean the difference between a life well lived, to one riddled with misery. It is good for a young man to know what is expected of him, what the world demands from men and what he can do with his life.
Know what is expected of you, know what you are capable of, and start building before anyone gives you permission.
